International Biographical Centre
I received your letter today announcing my nomination as an "International Scientist of the Year". Me, a scientist of the year? Thank you, thank you. I am speechless. Is this an honor or what? I have a feeling I am gonna be hearing from the Nobel Committee next.
I am indeed honored to be considered worthy of this esteemed award invented by your venerable center, excuse me, centre1. And all this for practically nothing. All I have to do is send you a check for $370 (or provide you with my credit card number) in return for a lousy "pictorial testimonial" with my name and picture on it. I might even consider adding to my order an "Official Gold Gilt Medal of Excellence" for another $370. You really know how to spoil a scientist.
How can I ever thank you enough? Is there something else I can do, besides revealing my credit card number to you, to express my gratitude? But, here is an idea. Why don't you send me a check (or cash, which I'd prefer) for $400 (sorry, things are a bit more expensive on this side of the Atlantic). And I will mail to you with express mail, I promise, a full-color certificate to commemorate the nomination of your little ploy as the Most Idiotic International Scam of the Year 2005.