Early yesterday afternoon a slug, identified as Limax maximus, was found in a semi-conscious state on a cold and dry concrete path. A large stain of shiny dry slime behind it was a poignant reminder of its final struggles. After the initial assessment revealed that the victim was responsive to touch, it was quickly transferred indoors and placed in a petri dish of water on its left side so as not to block its breathing hole. The initial prognosis was considered good, because, as seen in the photo below, the victim could open its breathing hole unassisted.
Subsequently, however, when it was noted that the victim's condition had not improved after several hours of intensive water therapy, it was decided to pull the plug. The victim, who was originally thought to be an illegal alien from Europe, was later determined to be a naturalized citizen of this country. A burial in 70% ethanol is being planned, followed by an exhumation and an autopsy.
Fama semper vivat